Third Date and Beyond: Tantric Sex—Be Here Now
It’s really progressing, isn’t it? You’re ready to really impress your new “friend” without harming the environment in the process.
Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means “loom,” “weaving,” or “the carrying out of a ceremony,” depending on one’s interpretation. Tantra is all about intentionality, directing energy, breath work, and eye gazing. But don’t think only New Age types practice tantra. It’s quite eco-sexual. Tantra doesn’t use a single bit of the earth’s resources, it provides hours and hours of fun, and it raises consciousness to a whole new level.
Every Breath You Take
You don’t have to read the entire Kama Sutra or spend hours holding off on orgasm in order to experiment with tantra. Start with remembering how to breathe. Even as you sit and read these words, bring your attention to your breath and think about whether it’s flowing deeply, fast, slow, or barely at all.
A quick tantra trick is to try to synchronize your breathing to your partner’s or, in some cases, the one you’d like to be your partner. Say you’re on a date and you’re not connecting because the person sitting across from you is nervous and fidgeting. Sometimes all it takes to calm a person down is to tune in to his or her breath and match it.
Even if you can’t hear the person breathing over the clanking of dishes in a restaurant, try to get a sense of it by watching his or her chest move up and down. This can also work when you’re in bed with someone and things aren’t going well, by the way.
More than Meets the Nondominant Eye
“In tantra, sex is not an action. It is not one more thing that humans do. Sex is an energy that exists on its own,” explains Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century. Practitioners of tantra believe that gazing into the nondominant eye (the left if the person is right-handed, and vice versa) is a means of gazing into the soul. This can invite a somewhat frightening level of intimacy with a partner, so it’s not for the faint of heart. Carrellas suggests that you practice it by yourself, with a mirror, in order to grow brave enough to do it with a partner. She believes that you can achieve the “great cosmic orgasm” with enough practice.
Here is a basic tantra exercise, one that even those who have practiced for years continue to go back to: Sit face-to-face with your partner. Maintain a gentle gaze with your left eye into your partner’s nondominant eye for several minutes.
Next, bring your awareness to the rise and fall of his or her belly and chest as your partner breathes in and out. Place your hand on his or her stomach and feel the expansion and contraction there. Notice whether you’ve synchronized your breathing. Listen to the breaths and add a sound with your exhale. Continue for at least 10 minutes. This is some serious stuff, and it can feel more intimate than sex.
Next week: More on eco-sex. Stay tuned.
Article excerpted from www.lifescript.com